What's Going On - Illness

The law of Seif 15 is not applicable in a case of pikuach nefesh - danger to life - because in that situation everything is certainly permitted.. However, the leniency here is available only if the man cannot take care of his needs on his own.  Notwithstanding, if it is possible for someone else to come and take of him, one should arrange for such.  However, there is no requirement to spend money to obtain outside help.

To understand Seifim 16 and 17, we need to review the underlying views about the prohibition against physical contact during her niddah period.  As we learned earlier, there are 2 basic views - the majority view, advanced by the Ramban, is that the law of Negiah is entirely rabbinic.  The Rambam, however, holds that Negiah is a Torah level law.  He bases this on the verse that reads "V'el Isha b'niddas tumasah lo sikrav" and interprets lo sikrav  as referring to physical contact other than intercourse.  As such, touching one's wife when she is a niddah would be a violation of the laws of gilui arayos - forbidden sexual relations.  The laws of forbidden sexual relations is one of the 3 sets of laws that one is required to die rather than violate. (Technically, touching would fall into a category called Avizra gilui arayos, which is something approaching the violation and has the same level of prohibition as the violation itself).

Based on the above, the simple understanding of the Shulchan Aruch is that he is offering as halacha the view of the Rambam, that even if her life is in danger. he cannot touch her.  It follows then that the Rama's view is that of the Ramban for whom the issue of pikuach nefesh overrides the rabbinic law of negiah.

The Shach, however, believes that the only time the Rambam would consider negiah to be a Torah level prohibition is physical contact that is meant to be erotic, sexual or seductive, none of which applies here.

The fundamental difference in halacha between the situation where she is sick and where he is sick is that the halacha views the man as the more sexually aggressive or demanding of the pair and therefore, if he is the healthy party, is more likely to try to force relations in spite of her illness.  If he is the one who is ill, it is less likely that he would have the energy to engage in intercourse.  Additionally, as noted above, the woman is considered as the less aggressive of the two.

The Radvaz adds that in the event of the woman being ill, financial expenditure to procure nursing care is required.  Rav Wozner days that the extent of a man's financial obligation is an open question.  If one is in such a situation, one should ask a qualified halachic authority.

 

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